Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize