You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
