Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize