whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
