If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
