i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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