using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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