Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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