I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
