My balls are so social today.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We left the knife in your bed.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize