Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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