Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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