i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
