Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
