Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
honey bunches of taint.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you inspire me to be a worse person
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
