Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
