There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
