sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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