But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
