Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
