Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
