i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
