Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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