a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
