ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
