Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
FUCK WHALES
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
