oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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