What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
