Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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