Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
