I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
