Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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