1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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