We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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