Will you blow on my dice?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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