I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
God I need to hump something, right now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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