I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
