wat bout pragnant strippers??
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
