there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
