Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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