11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
