so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
