I wish I could punch you in the face.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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