and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
