There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
