What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
