This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize