well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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