Are we in a gay sports bar?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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