real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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