Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
should my penis look like a turkey
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize