if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
