I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
