Yo dont text me then not text me
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize