I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
