Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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