Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
