We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
