Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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