kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
