i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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