I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize