i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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