i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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