from now on my penis is your penis
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just pee around me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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