meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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