The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
